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A DM to our PM

Dear Prime Minister,

I sincerely hope that you had your mango today.

I have been following your recent interviews for quite some time & couldn’t stop myself from writing this letter. All of your recent interviews were absolutely honest, candid & confident in the true sense of the word.

Being an engineer (with a real degree) by profession, I too have given a few interviews as a part of recruitment. If I were to establish a quantitative comparison, I have probably appeared for as many interviews as you have after you became the PM. Please note, I have been modest in excluding the interviews that were chaired by my respective relatives.

But you have beaten me on the quality of interviews, sir. While I was being questioned on algorithms, database design & guesstimates, you faced the horrible wrath of daily routine, hobbies and your mango eating habits. While I did not really leave a good impression in my interviews, you simply hit the nail on the head. In no time, the nation went crazy about your methods of waking up early in the morning and subsequent plucking of mangoes.

Overwhelmed by the scenario, I have come up with an interesting idea, sir. I would share your interview clips with all my recruiters who have interviewed me till date. This way, they would come to know about the real parameters of judging up an individual’s capabilities.

My recruiters must know that I can dip a Parle-G in water and eat it. They must know that as a child, I would take the tennis ball out of drainage & play with it. They must know that even today when I don’t get time to wash my bedsheets, I simply turn them around on my bed. They must know that I use my perfume on my shirts as well as on my socks. They must know that I take extra Sambhar with one Dosa in order to fill me up. They must know that I beg for a ‘sookhi puri’ everytime I finish my pani puri. And they must know that I don’t eat mangoes because I can only afford a MangoByte.

There is no wonder why your interviews circle around your personality, your likes & your dislikes. Elections are ongoing and you already seem to have won the battle, at least on social media. The political situation of our country mimics the model of the Solar system, with every damn thing revolving around you, the centre. The only difference is that in the actual solar system, the one who is at the centre (SUN) is supposed to light up the world. On the contrary, you have been successful in keeping a lot of nationalists in the dark.

By no means, this letter is going to reach you sir. But till this point, your fans would have tagged me as a Congress supporter. For their record, I do not support individuals. But I am mad for the issues. I believe in debates. I advocate social discussions. Hence, I lack the ability to admire you,sir.

Apologies for my words, sir! But my words are way much gentle & respectful than the ones which we see on Twitter handles, some of them being followed by you.

Sir, I may be wrong in how I interpreted your ‘apolitical’ interviews, but I take the flag of correctness extremely high when I say these words :--

Nehru was not India. Indira was not India. You are not India. No one can be India, except India!

Jai Hind.

Faithful but not yours,
Aditya Upadhyay


  1. This is hilarious but true....Your language could harm the dignity of the CHOWKIDAR bcz u r not using any abusive words.

  2. Excellent brother... Worth to read, after such a long time...


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