Posts

You have an unread message from Corona

Hello potential host!

Reading this won't kill/infect you. But if one of those religious gurus (the ones who asked you to avoid me via turmeric and ginger) says so, please shut them up on their face and I shall not even touch you!

575,444 confirmed cases.
26,654 deaths.



That's the update from WHO regarding me.

But do these numbers really define me?

Enough has been said about me. Enough has been written about me. Enough has been blamed upon
me. Now, it’s my turn.

First of all, stop calling me a deadly virus. That sounds like quite a reductionist tag. But what else can
be expected out of you as a human, who is habitual of jumping to the conclusions from the maximum
possible altitude!

Just look around and tell me what wrong did I do!

Look at those streets that you messed up every day. Open your windows and breathe that fresh air, which is available 24/7 now. Hear those melodious birds chirping all around. Experience that silence for which you used to scale the mountains.

But you are …

Pohanomics

Image
Disclaimer: This post might be a shitty read, but what else do you read!

Saturday night. 2:18 AM. I was half asleep in my dark room. The windows were shut.  Lights were off and there was absolute pin-drop silence. Infact, it was one of the most silent times of the day. There were no occasional chirpings of birds & insects. The street dogs too didn't disturb the silence.

Suddenly, the unexpected happened!

I sensed someone's presence in my room. I sensed that someone was running. Someone was running back and forth. Someone was running really fast. Someone was running so close!

Someone wasn't any ghost in my gully, but the mice in my belly.

It was back. My hunger had struck me badly. Now if you supposedly think that it was a no brainer to pull up my phone and order food online, please note that I'm temporarily divorced from Uber Eats, Zomato & Swiggy. I'm divorced because I'm done. I'm done with making a decision every day on what to order. I'm do…

India : A victim of Indians

Image
India is not a victim of CAA/NRC.
India is not a victim of the recent incidents of rape.
India is not a victim of the economic slowdown.

India is a victim of the Indians who haven't understood any of the above.

 Such proud Indians easily fall into 2 categories -
Indians residing in rural/semiurban India.Indians residing in urban India. The first category is formed by the ones who themselves suffer from limited opportunities, limited resources, limited grocery, limited food, limited education but are blessed with unlimited data. 2 GB per day keeps their conscience away. All they need is to enroll themselves in Whatsapp University and start enhancing their IQs by daily consumption of images & videos, duly prepared by various IT cells. They are looted in hospitals, they are denied their subsidies and they struggle to get the pension that they deserve. Still, a lot of them will credit the government for it has performed a surgical strike in Pakistan.

A rural Indian is blindfolded a…

A DM to our PM

Dear Prime Minister,

I sincerely hope that you had your mango today.
I have been following your recent interviews for quite some time & couldn’t stop myself from writing this letter. All of your recent interviews were absolutely honest, candid & confident in the true sense of the word.
Being an engineer (with a real degree) by profession, I too have given a few interviews as a part of recruitment. If I were to establish a quantitative comparison, I have probably appeared for as many interviews as you have after you became the PM. Please note, I have been modest in excluding the interviews that were chaired by my respective relatives.
But you have beaten me on the quality of interviews, sir. While I was being questioned on algorithms, database design & guesstimates, you faced the horrible wrath of daily routine, hobbies and your mango eating habits. While I did not really leave a good impression in my interviews, you simply hit the nail on the head. In no time, the nation went…

A tale of a tail

Image
As big as a rope, as small as a pore. As hard as a stick, as soft as a chick. As straight as a tower, as round as a flower. As furry as a broom, as bald as a mushroom!
The diversity of their tales is as underrated as that of the religions.
But, unity exists in the diversity (and not in the statue). 
The rope, the pore. The stick, the chick. The tower, the flower. The broom, the mushroom. All these tails were united by a tale. A tale that the dogs can’t read. A tale that the dogs want us to read!
LARA is a one such tale. It doesn’t need ‘BRIAN’ in its preface or ‘DUTTA’ in its acknowledgements. Though, she is as playful as the former & as beautiful as the latter.
Lara entered my life into a box. It was a shoe-box. Within the span of a year, she would easily kick that box out of her way. Such was the pace of her growth. To your wonder, she doesn’t belong to the Labrador family which is popular for its rapid growth. Instead, Lara was a cross. In fact, she was a holy cross that I wou…

ABCD is not enough!

Image
"Come on beta, drink your milk, otherwise the doggy would come." "Baby, it’s time to sleep & if you don't, doggy would come." "Don't cry, otherwise the doggy will come!!"
Such were our first life tutorials. Probably all of us subscribed to them & learnt to eat, sleep & drink.
As a kid, I was extremely scared of dogs. I was so scared that all my actions were inhibited by this dog-phobia. With even the slightest indication of a dog nearby, I could sense the chill that ran down my spine. This wasn’t because the dogs were intimidating. Instead, the tutorials were. If you wish to anticipate the extent of my fear of dogs, think about your confidence to say/write (or even, think) against the unity. I mean, Statue of Unity.
One fine morning, my fear was ready to take a toll on me. Sharma uncle from the neighbourhood visited our home & my papa called me up to show off that his 3-year-old has learnt the ABCD. So the examiner in Sharma uncle was …

The Cool-Mythology

Last Saturday, I went to Mumbai with my roomie & spent the entire night on the Marine drive. Walking along the Arabian sea, along with the sleepless mubaikars. Life seemed to be too easy & sorted. And I thought of myself as such a cool guy. The next morning, on our way back to Pune, i was thinking about my life, career & eventually got depressed. Life was again a brainstorming puzzle for me. And this question surfaced, Am I really a cool guy?  No, i'm not. And in fact, most of us are not. Do you know why? Let's figure this out!


So as a sane product of my insane imagination, i discovered the existence of a mythology, called as the COOL-MYTHOLOGY. Now this cool mythology, as the name suggests, talks about the feaures & secrets of staying cool.

But why i'm calling it a mythology? We already have enough of them like Ramayana, Mahabharat, Quran, bible, gurugranth sahib. Actually, there's a common thread amongst all of these mythologies. And that is, all of …